


Until My Heart Explodes

by occultclysms



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Australia, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Grocery Shopping, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultclysms/pseuds/occultclysms
Summary: Felix and Chan are college students who meet while working as a fruit pickers for extra cash. They hit it off really well, and since Felix has a van and Chan doesn't, it only seems fitting that they hit the road together.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67
Collections: Summer Solstice 2020





	Until My Heart Explodes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TRASHCAKE](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRASHCAKE/gifts).



> there's so much i want to say in the notes here and i'm basically half asleep so none of this will make any sense. number one, thank you to m, my go to australian for helping me not accidentally set this in american and beta-ing this in chunks for me
> 
> number two, riley! hello there. i don't want to give myself away, but i tried to cater to what i think you like in fics and you're a very cool writer who i've enjoyed reading things from for years
> 
> number three, prompt: A and B are vagrants who meet while working as a fruit picker for extra cash (it's summer, so maybe strawberries? Up to you, though!) they hit it off really well, and since A has a van and B doesn't, it only seems fitting that they hit the road together. Bonus: road trips, playlist, falling in love on the road. If you want this to be set in your country then that could be really cute! and pairing is chan/felix
> 
> also yes the title is from summertime by my chemical romance

Chan loves mangoes. Like the wrong amount of liking mangoes. He is spending his summer vacation before starting his master’s degree, picking mangoes. His mom had asked if he was joking and when he said no, she’d rolled her eyes and him and wished him good luck.

So now here he is in Darwin, nearly four thousand kilometers from home, ready to pick mangoes until he is sick of mango as a whole. Chan doesn’t _really_ think that will happen, but if it ever is going to, now is the time. Darwin is a long way to travel just to work as a fruit picker, but there is free mango involved and Chan could afford the plane ride here, so it all works out for him.

All the people working the mango fields who are from out of town, get to stay in this hostel of sorts. And then in the morning a bus comes to get them and will take them back in the afternoon. 

Currently, Chan is outside said hostel with his suitcase, ready to pick some mangoes early tomorrow morning. 

The hostel is only one floor with a few steps in front of it. There’s also an old-style van parked in front. Chan hasn’t seen one of these since he watched the Cars movie. This car looks like Filmore from Cars, but Chan has no idea what the name is. Now if Chan is being honest, what types of cars _can_ he name? None, that’s right. But Chan doesn’t drive, so it’s not really a big deal anyway.

Chan walks into the hostel and is shown his bed by a nice staff member. He puts his things away and puts his pajamas on, brushes his teeth and climbs into bed, ready for an early day tomorrow.

* * *

Chan is awoken up at five am, and while he knew to expect an early morning, it’s still quite jarring as he is used to sleeping in until at least eight, maybe even nine. But he gets out of bed and yawns, dressing for the day and making sure to grab his sunscreen and hat. 

The bus ride really isn’t that long, only twenty minutes at max, but Chan still has to fight to stay awake the entire time. He watches out the window as the more residential area turns into trees and trees, all full of mangoes. Suddenly, Chan is hungry and not sleepy (maybe still a little bit sleepy). Mangoes for breakfast sounds like a genius idea.

When the bus pulls into the center part of the farm where a farmhouse is, everyone gets off and walks to the front of the farmhouse. Chan hovers towards the back, unsure of where he should stand. The owner of the farm gets all of their attention and tells them the rules and none of them are really that big of a deal to Chan, so he just nods along, ready to find out where he’s going.

Everyone is sectioned off into different parts of the farm with Chan getting sent to the West part with a huge basket that he can wear to hold all of his mangoes. Every hour or so, someone is supposed to come by and take their fruit to empty their basket.

Chan puts the basket on and reaches up into the dwarf mango tree, pulling off a ripe looking mango. Into the basket it goes. And then again and again and again. Chan picks mangoes for at least an hour and then the first truck comes by to collect the fruit which Chan turns over happily; less weight for him to carry in the end.

But Chan can’t resist the sweet mango staring him down, so he takes it off the top of the pile. He catches some of the skin between his teeth, peeling back a portion so that he can take a bite. Just as he bites into it, he hears a tsking sound coming from behind him. Chan is ready to make something up and claim he was about to die without at least one mango and that it can come out of his salary, but he doesn’t have to.

“Stealing mangoes isn’t surprising, in fact the people who run this farm factor that into their calculations on pricing, but that’s not the point. I’m just surprised it took you only an hour to steal one,” a stranger says. He’s around Chan’s age, dressed the same, but with a much larger hat and freckles that are prominent across his cheeks.

“Who are you?” Chan asks after swallowing down his bite of mango.

“I’m Felix Lee.” Felix sets down his basket and holds out a hand to Chan which Chan takes and shakes. “I’ve been working this farm over summer for the past few years, so I know everything inside and out by now. I didn’t even mean to run into you, but I picked my few trees clean already and need to find some more.” He’s already finished his trees… how even? Chan’s barely finished five and he thought he was going at a solid pace.

“You’re crazy fast,” Chan mumbles.

“That I am,” Felix replies. “And who are you?”

“I’m Christopher Bang, but I normally go by Chan.” Chan thinks he’s been shaking Felix’s hand for far too long at this point, so he drops it and tries to subtly wipe the sweat off his hand onto his pants.

“Nice to meet you, Chan,” Felix says with a small laugh. “I promise I won’t tattle on your mango stealing, but only if I’m allowed get to know you some more later tonight.”

“Deal.” 

Felix is cute and has pretty lips with sparkly eyes, so who is Chan to say no to spending more time with him?

“Well, I have to go find some more trees to pick from, but I will see you later.” Felix gives a cheerful wave before walking away and Chan finds himself holding up his meek wave for far too long, watching as Felix dips around the corner.

* * *

The end of the day can’t come fast enough. Chan had picked so many trees clean that he’s sure his arms will be useless for four days straight. But he has another day tomorrow. And another day after that. 

On the bus, Chan doesn’t see Felix at all, and even though he wishes that he could have spent more time looking for him, his legs were also quite tired which made him settle into a seat pretty quickly.

Once again, Chan struggles not to fall asleep on the way back, but he taps out a song on his thighs and pinches himself whenever that doesn’t work. By four twenty-five everyone is piling off the bus. Chan is one of the last ones off and he’s ready to go and try to find Felix, but there’s a hand on his shoulder before he can. Turning around, Chan sees it’s Felix and he smiles.

“You look a little tired, Chan,” Felix says. “But don’t worry, you get used to it. I’ve been coming here since I was eighteen and now, I’m twenty-one so I have the hang of things I would say.” Right, Felix knows what he’s doing, so he’s not tired at all.

“Yeah, my arms are ready to fall off,” Chan replies and Felix frowns.

“Can I take you to dinner in the city?” Felix asks. “My treat.”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept,” Chan argues. “We only just met, it’s a little soon for us to have dinner together.”

“I disagree.” Felix puts his hands on his hips and looks at Chan, chin tilted up. “I think you have friend potential written all over you. Besides how many Korean people do you think I find here in Australia anyway? Not a ton.”

“Alright,” Chan concedes. “How are we going to get there though? I got here by taxi.”

“With my bomb ass van of course,” Felix replies, gesturing over at Filmore from Cars.

“Somehow it doesn’t surprise me that that’s your car,” Chan muses.

“Why thank you. Now let’s go and I can take you to my favorite restaurant here,” Felix cheers, grabbing Chan’s wrist and pulling him towards the car. Felix opens the passenger door for Chan and runs around to the other side to hop in. 

“Where exactly are we going?” Chan asks.

“I’m aware I’m overly excited,” Felix says as he turns the ignition, completely disregarding Chan’s question. “But you got to understand that this is the first time I’ve really run into anyone here that I’ve gotten the chance to be friends with. I’m either too young or something else, but I’m promise I’m fun to hang out with.”

“If you didn’t make friends, why did you keep coming back?” Chan asks.

“Because, like you, I am also a mango thief. This pays me and gives me free mango for the entire summer. It’s totally worth it, even if I’m from Sydney,” Felix explains. He pulls out of the farm area and heads back onto the dirt road back to the city part of Darwin.

“So where exactly are we going?” Chan asks.

“I have a particular favorite restaurant whenever I come here. It’s run by my friend, Woojin. Amazing chef. Seriously, the best food I’ve ever eaten,” Felix gushes.

“What kind of food does he make?” Chan taps his fingers along the dashboard as he watches the streets turn into a city.

“He cooks American food, which technically doesn’t exist, but it’s all the stereotypical stuff and it all tastes good, so I’m happy to eat it,” Felix says. “I’m like if it’s good, why not y’know? And then after me and Woojin became friends, I just kept coming back.”

“That makes sense.” Chan leans back, resting his head to the side and watching the buildings. Felix doesn’t force a conversation, just hums along to some song that Chan hasn’t heard before but is now taking a bit of interest in because of Felix.

Eventually, they come to a stop in front of an outdoor restaurant. Felix parks around back and the two of them get out of the car, walking along the side of the building.

“I really hope you like this,” Felix says, hands in his pockets, little skip in his step.

“I think I will.” Chan isn’t sure if he’s agreeing because he genuinely thinks it or if he just wants to please Felix. Which is weird because Chan isn’t really a people pleaser, he just likes how happy Felix looks when he’s happy. Naturally, Chan has only seen Felix in a good mood, and he wants to keep it that way.

“That’s good.” The two of them walk in and Felix is immediately greeted by the man behind the counter who is presumably Woojin. “Good evening, Woojin. Two for dinner please.”

“Right this way,” Woojin replies and Chan follows behind them while they spare quick chatter with each other. Woojin seats them at a small booth in the back of the restaurant and Chan looks around before looking at his menu.

“I don’t know what half of this is,” Chan confesses. “American’s have the weirdest taste in food.”

“I promise you actually do. Plenty of it I remember eating as a kid, and its mostly just different words for the same things. Like give an example,” Felix says.

“Pickle,” Chan replies. “What is a pickle?” Felix bursts out laughing and Chan pouts which makes Felix reach across the table and grab his hand.

“It’s the same as a gherkin,” Felix explains. Well that’s quite embarrassing. Chan swallows down his embarrassment and tries to go back to looking at the menu, but Felix hasn’t let go of his hand and that’s distracting in and of itself. Chan does decide on something to drink though, so it isn’t a total loss by the time that Woojin comes over to take their order.

“Do you two know what you want to drink?” Woojin asks.

“Yes, I’ll have a cherry coke,” Felix replies without looking at his menu.

“Can I get an iced coffee?” Chan asks. Iced coffee is always so good, especially at dinner time.

“Wait, Chan you might not want to do that,” Felix warns and Woojin holds his pen still, not writing it down.

“Why not?”

“American iced coffee is completely different to Australian iced coffee,” Felix says. “Like it’s much _much_ worse and I made the same mistake when I came here the first time and Woojin had laughed at me. It was really embarrassing.”

“Felix is right,” Woojin adds. “If you’re not from America, you probably won’t like it.”

“Then I’ll have a cherry coke too,” Chan decides. It’s not worth it to even try if Felix is so against it. Woojin walks away and Felix focuses his attention back on Chan. “So, what is an American iced coffee?”

“I thought you would never ask because it’s an abomination. Starbucks need to raise their standards of iced coffee, I swear. It’s essentially overly strong coffee in water, a dash of milk and too many ice cubes,” Felix explains. Chan glances down and can’t help but notice how Felix still hasn’t let go of his hand. “It’s honestly the foulest, most watery, undrinkable drink I’ve ever had the displeasure of tasting.”

“That’s some harsh criticism,” Chan points out. “Is it really that bad?”

“I’ll order you one and we can find out,” Felix replies with a wink and Chan feels his stomach sink. There’s no way this will be good. “Woojin! Bring Chan an iced coffee too.” Chan looks around the corner of the booth and sees Woojin give them a confused look.

“If you say so,” Woojin calls.

“I think this is a terrible idea,” Chan says.

“Oh, for sure, but you don’t seem convinced by my words alone, so I think you should taste it just to truly understand.” Chan sighs and goes back to looking at his menu.

“I still have no idea what to order,” Chan mumbles.

“Tell me what you like and I’ll pick something for you if you want,” Felix offers. “I’m pretty good at reading people if you would like a total surprise.”

“Yeah, surprise me. Why not?”

“Okay how do you feel about pineapple on pizza?” Felix asks. “This is the only question I need and then I can pick something you’ll like.” How is this the only question Felix needs? There are other foods than pizza.

“I love pineapple on pizza,” Chan replies.

“Great.” Felix lets go of Chan’s hand to pick the menu up and flick through the pages. The angle that Felix is holding the menu covers up most of his face except for his eyebrows and hair, so Chan just has to infer things from the way that Felix moves his eyebrows, which is not a lot to go off on. Felix slams his menu onto the top of the table and proclaims, “I’ve got it.”

“You do?” Woojin asks right as he walks up to their table. “I’m assuming whatever you have is related to food though, because otherwise it doesn’t really affect me.”

“You wound me, Woojin,” Felix says, pouting. “But yes, I picked Chan’s food order since he’s indecisive.”

“You must trust Felix a lot to let him do that,” Woojin points out, setting down their drinks. “I can take your food orders now if you’re ready.”

“Yep, give me two of my usual,” Felix replies, holding up two of his fingers for effect.

“Does Chan know what your usual is?” Woojin asks.

“Not a clue.”

“This will be interesting,” Woojin comments before walking away to help another table.

“Should I be afraid?” Chan asks, looking over the drinks, already heavily skeptical of the iced coffee that’s sitting in front of him.

“If I say yes, you’ll get more nervous than you are, so I’ll go with no,” Felix replies, practically on the edge of his seat. Chan sighs and brings the straw to his lips.

“Here goes nothing.” Chan takes a sip and Felix was right. The second this iced-coffee-impersonator touches his tongue he pulls his mouth away from the straw. “That’s so bad! Felix why did you make me drink that?”

“You didn’t believe me,” Felix defends. “What else was I supposed to do to get you to believe me?”

“Fair enough.” Chan takes a large sip of his cherry coke to try and clear his mouth of the terrible taste. “Anyway, what did you order?”

“I can’t spoil the surprise,” Felix counters, taking a sip of his own drink. “Besides, it’s not too revolutionary to the taste buds. Just fun.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Chan replies. “I don’t know why, but I don’t trust you on this one.” 

“Okay, that’s valid because some people I know don’t like this, but I think it’s great.” 

“This is doing nothing to relax me.” Chan drinks more of his cherry coke and taps along the edge of the table to get out his excess nerves.

“I promise it will all be okay,” Felix reassures and Chan believes that at least. A few moments later, Woojin brings over two bowls of some white soup.

“Thank you,” Chan and Felix say.

“Jinx,” Felix mumbles. “But try your soup.”

“Can I ask the name before I do?” Chan asks.

“New England clam chowder,” Felix replies, taking a bite of his food. Chan surveys the chowder. It’s like a thicker soup and Chan thinks he can handle it. He takes a tentative bite of it and is pleasantly surprised that it’s really not half bad.

“It’s actually good.”

“I have good taste,” Felix counters. “I would never suggest something, especially to eat, that isn’t great.”

“I will have to see about that,” Chan replies. He hopes that Felix catches onto his double meaning there. He wants to spend more time with Felix, especially with this kind of environment. It’s friendly, but it also feels a little bit flirty which is plenty fine with Chan.

All throughout dinner, the two of them make small talk and Felix smiles a bunch, which makes Chan pleased at the very least. Felix insists on paying at the end and even though Chan protests a bit, Felix wins out in the end with the promise that the next time they go out, Chan can pay.

The two of them drive back to the hostel, Chan feeling overwhelmingly fond of Felix already. He really had a nice time tonight and it makes him feel ready for the tough day ahead tomorrow. They get back around eight thirty, but Chan is already beat and ready to clonk out.

Felix puts his van in park and when he doesn’t move, Chan thinks he’s somehow missed something. He glances around for a second but can’t figure out what’s wrong.

“Why are you looking around?” Felix asks.

“Why aren’t you getting out of the van?” Chan counters. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh, I sleep in my van for privacy and I use the hostel to wash my clothes and stuff. I’ve been coming here for years, so they are pretty fond of me by now. And the hostel is just happy to have another open bed y’know,” Felix explains.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Chan replies, trying to sound as sincere as he feels. Really everything about Felix is so endearing that it would be hard to _not_ like him.

“Well goodnight, Chan,” Felix says, placing his hands in his lap.

“Goodnight, Felix. Thank you for taking me out tonight.”

“Anytime.” Chan gets out of Felix’s van and goes back into the hostel with a small smile on his face. Chan doesn’t believe in love at first sight or anything like that, but he knows an extraordinary boy when he meets one.

* * *

The next eight weeks seem to fly by with Chan and Felix spending a few nights a week hanging out together and stealing mangoes whenever they got the chance. It’s really quite sweet and Chan finds himself looking more and more forward to the time he gets to spend with Felix with each passing day.

But their time is coming to an end and Chan knows it. He’s been putting off buying a plane ticket home for at least a week now, and he really shouldn’t wait any longer or else it’ll cost way more than it should which would be an absolute bummer to his bank account.

“Hey Chan?” Felix asks. The two of them are laying on the top of Felix’s van, staring up at the stars. Chan didn’t realize he had gone quiet, but Felix doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah?” 

“You haven’t bought your plane ticket home, have you?” 

“How did you know?” Chan turns his head to look over at Felix who does the same. “I really need to, especially considering our last day is in like three days.”

“Well, what if I had an offer that meant you didn’t have to buy that plane ticket?” Chan raises a brow at Felix. “It’s not anything illegal, don’t give me that look. I was just wondering if you wanted to go back to Sydney with me. I drove here in about a week and there’s a few cool places to stop along the way. No pressure though.”

“That sounds awesome,” Chan admits. “But how would that work?”

“Basically, we drive during most of the day and pull over somewhere to sleep. And then there’s a few days where we can stop and do things. It’s not the most exciting thing ever, but it’s decently lonely and I really like spending time with you,” Felix says, and Chan has to resist grabbing onto Felix’s hand. He’s never gotten an impulse to hand hold, but Felix seems like he would have good hands for holding.

“I think we should do it.” Felix breaks out into a huge smile. Chan can’t help but mimic him and his heart skips a beat. “But let’s talk more about it in the morning, alright?”

“Got it,” Felix replies. “Sleep well, Chan.”

“Sweet dreams, Felix.” 

* * *

Actually, driving with Felix isn’t that weird. They leave after their last day of work and play loud music as the streets go flying by. They find some of their favorite songs and sing along at the top of their lungs and life is good. 

Felix pulls them over for the night after driving for around five hours or so. It’s half past eleven and Chan feels himself drifting off. 

“How are we sleeping?” Chan asks. “I forgot.” 

“We’ll put pajamas on and then I’ll pull out the bed for us.” Chan nods along. He’s far too tired to want to put on pajamas but since Felix said so, he probably should. Felix puts the van in park. “Do you want to get changed in here or outside?”

“Which is easier for you?” Chan counters. Curse him being a people-pleaser. But if being in his underwear outside for a small amount of time is what he needs to do, then he’ll do it.

“Outside, so I can pull the bed out,” Felix says, climbing out of the van. Chan sighs and does the same. Felix opens the side doors and climbs inside while Chan reaches in to grab his bag. Taking off his shirt isn’t that big a deal, so Chan takes that off without any need for privacy.

Pajamas in hand Chan treks out, a few feet away from the car and pulls his sleep shirt on. Then off comes his shoes and pants. It’s not even cold outside, but Chan still has goose bumps. He really shouldn’t be so nervous for no reason. He finishes dressing and slips his shoes back on so that he doesn’t have to walk on the dirt in his socks.

“Felix?” Chan calls, trying to keep his voice down. He doesn’t want to barge in unannounced because that would be rude, but he also doesn’t want to stand outside any longer.

“Yeah, come in.” Felix opens the door, revealing his own pajamas which are red and white striped. One would think that they would clash with Felix’s orange hair, but they work in their own special way. Chan climbs in and shuts the door behind him, dropping his clothes with his stuff.

Across the back half of the van, a fold out bed has been pulled out and extended over the back chairs. It’s a pretty interesting set up that Chan has no idea how it works, but it looks plenty comfortable. 

“You look ready to pass out,” Felix comments and Chan climbs onto the bed and snuggles up under the blankets.

“You could say that again,” Chan replies. Felix climbs in after him and they lay side by side, but don’t touch. “Goodnight, Felix.”

“Goodnight, Chan.” 

And everything is fine for a while. They both drift off to sleep for a few hours, content in bed. At some time after two, Chan wakes up to a noise outside. He can’t quite figure out what it is. The sound repeats itself over and over. Fuck, what on Earth could that be. Chan really isn’t the type to get scared. Not at all, but the unknown is scary to everyone… Chan also just doesn’t want to investigate this particular sound. 

He sits up and tries to look out the small window above the bed to see if he can try to put his mind at rest without any of the actual investigating. But he can’t see anything. Damn it, now he’s getting anxious. This really isn’t how he wants to spend his first night with Felix.

“Felix,” Chan whispers. He prods at Felix’s shoulder, trying to get him to wake up. “Felix, there’s something outside.”

“I want to keeping sleeping,” Felix mumbles, rolling over. The creature that’s outside makes a sound and Chan squeaks. Normally, he’s not scared of anything, but somehow these are the perfect circumstances for him to get scared.

“Felix!” Chan whisper-shouts. “There’s a monster outside your van. What if it eats us?” Felix sits up and rubs his eyes. His hair is sticking up all over the place and Chan resists the urge to pet it down.

“What do you mean there’s a monster?” Felix asks, voice groggy with sleep.

“There’s something outside the van making noises and it’s freaking me out,” Chan says. “Can you see what it is?”

“I mean, I can,” Felix replies. He leans over to the door to the van and is about to open it when Chan grabs his wrist.

“Wait, what if it attacks you?” Chan asks.

“Okay, Let’s look out the window together and if it’s really something big and scary, we can drive farther down to sleep,” Felix offers and Chan nods. Felix opens the curtains and peers out the window, moonlight illuminating his face. “It’s just a cane toad.”

“Those are dangerous,” Chan protests. “They could kill a dog!”

“They are also everywhere in Australia. How did you not see any when we were picking mangoes? We were literally an hour away from Toad Hall, the place where they get researched,” Felix points out and Chan flushes.

“Okay, maybe it isn’t a huge deal, but there was barely any back in Sydney,” Chan points out.

“You might be right, but they are still pretty normal,” Felix counters and Chan pouts. “I pinky promise that we’re okay.” Chan holds out his pinky to Felix and Felix takes it in hand.

“Thank you,” Chan whispers. “I’m generally not easy to scare, but this just got to me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Felix yawns. “Though, I’m still pretty tired. Do you need some help getting to sleep?” Chan bites his lip. Ideally, he could lay with Felix which would help a bit, but this is their first night together, so maybe that would be weird to ask. “I can tell you’re thinking about something. What is it?”

“I don’t want to make things weird,” Chan replies, not really answering the question at all. Felix climbs back onto the bed and rests his weight on his hands with his feet hanging over the edge, but not quite touching the ground.

“I still think you should just say it,” Felix counters. “I promise I’m open minded.”

“Could we cuddle?” Chan asks from the opposite side of the bed. Sharing a bed was already something a little strange for two friends, but there was only one bed in Felix’s van and Felix wouldn’t let Chan sleep on the floor.

“I have no issue with that,” Felix says. “We’re already sharing a bed so come here. Do you want to spoon or something else?” Chan is surprised by how much Felix takes this in stride.

“Spooning is good with me,” Chan mumbles, climbing over to Felix.

“Spoon preference?” Felix looks tired, but he’s still smiling and Chan feels his heart skip a beat when they lock eyes.

“Little spoon.” Felix nods and lays down. Chan follows his movements, adjusting himself until Felix is just barely pressed against him.

“You seem like a little spoon,” Felix whispers before pulling Chan in closer and wrapping his arms around Chan’s torso. Felix’s hair tickles the back of Chan’s neck along with his breath as Felix gets fully comfortable. The steady in and out of Felix breathing lulls Chan back to sleep, finally calm enough to ignore the cane toads outside.

* * *

They’re within twenty hours of Sydney which might seem like a lot, but in Chan’s mind, it’s the home stretch. His desire to kiss Felix is only growing by the day which means he needs to get out of this van, so he doesn’t do it.

“We’re about thirty minutes outside of CITY NAME,” Felix says, turning the radio down. “But we’re low on petrol. Like really low on petrol and I don’t know how to stretch it anymore. I’m just warning you now because we might need to walk to the next service station.”

“That’s really not good,” Chan replies. “I also don’t know enough about cars to know how to stretch it super far but try cruising for as long as possible without hitting the breaks or the accelerator.”

“Yeah, I’ll try that.” Felix frowns and takes his foot off the pedals. “In other news, there’s a service station right on the edge of town and I know someone who works there as I stop for petrol there whenever I make my trip. Hyunjin is a big sweetheart and can give us a ride back to the van, so you don’t have to walk both ways.” Chan looks out the window. It’s past four, but it’s still hot as hell outside.

“I’m sure we can handle it. It may be a million degrees, but we’ve both lived here our whole lives and just finished working in the hot sun all day for weeks. There’s nothing we can’t handle,” Chan proclaims.

“I know it’ll be fine. And I can handle heat plenty well, but I just like to avoid it. I wouldn’t invite the heat over for Sunday Dinner y’know.” Chan laughs.

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” Felix looks down at the fuel gage and he doesn’t look too pleased.

“I would brace for the car stopping within the next five minutes,” Felix warns. “The gage is already at the bottom, but we’re still going, so we’re essentially running on fumes.”

“Lovely,” Chan replies. “Well, we have GPS on our phones and sunscreen at least.”

“For now, I really need some more sunscreen as mine is running low. I’ve used far too much on this trip, but I just really don’t like to burn,” Felix admits. The car putters to a stop right then and Chan sighs. Well, this could have gone better. “Out we go then.”

“Let me put my sun hat on and then we’ll get going.” Felix nods, putting the car into park so it doesn’t roll away and climbing out. Chan opens the back door and digs around in his bag for his hat. It’s a million degrees and he doesn’t feel like sunscreen-ing his entire body right now. Chan puts the hat on and spins around to find Felix standing right behind him.

“Ready?” Felix asks.

“Yep,” Chan replies. “Are you going to grab a hat or something?”

“Yeah, otherwise I’m going to turn as pink as a salmon and not in a cute way.” Chan laughs, but a bigger part of him is distracted with the idea of Felix blushing. Felix grabs his own hat, locks the car and then they are on their way.

Walking in the heat isn’t ideal, but Felix makes good company as they walk. He tells Chan random stories about what things are like for him back home and they find out that they actually have several similar experiences in Sydney.

After about an hour of walking, they finally reach the service station Felix talked about. Chan leans against one of the petrol pumps and pauses to catch his breath. Finally, some shade at the very least. Felix walks the rest of the way into the service station and Chan jogs to catch up to him.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” Felix greets.

“Good to see you, Felix,” Hyunjin replies. He has chin length blond hair and a huge smile on his face. Hyunjin acknowledges Chan and gives him a small wave which Chan returns.

“It’s good to see you too, but I have not great news,” Felix begins. “My van run out of petrol about an hour’s walk from here.”

“That’s not good. What kind of petrol do you need?” Hyunjin asks.

“Unleaded, please. And me and Chan here are gonna get some snacks while you fill up a can,” Felix says.

“Coolio, I’ll ring you up all together when I get some petrol, then I’ll take you back in my truck.” Hyunjin comes around the counter and goes into the backroom while Felix walks over to the fridges with Chan behind him.

“Anything in particular you want?” Felix asks. “I’m buying.” 

“You always say that, but I don’t think you have an endless tree of money to keep buying me food,” Chan counters, opening the fridge to pull out a Red Bull.

“What if I’m just trying to fatten you up and eat you?” Felix grabs an Arizona and walks over to the lollies section.

“Then that would be pretty weird. I’m not the type of guy that’s into vore,” Chan points out. Felix hesitates for a moment but grabs a pack of gummy worms and Chan picks a Snickers bar.

“I honestly expected better from you, Chan,” Felix replies, sounding disappointed, but also sarcastic. “I can only associate with people that are at least semi-positive with vore and similar activities.”

“This is both surprising and not at all surprising about you,” Chan retorts. They walk back to the counter and set their stuff up there while they wait for Hyunjin.

“That’s exactly how I feel about you drinking Red Bull,” Felix tells him. “If we were in America, you’d be classed as a total frat boy.”

“Whereas here I’m just classed as a normal dude wanting to get his caffeine fix, right?”

Felix laughs, drumming his fingers on the counter. “I suppose it is a better option than the iced coffee I made you try back at Woojin’s restaurant.”

“Oh, definitely,” Chan responds, making a face at the memory. Why would Americans decide to drink such an abomination?

Hyunjin walks back in with a yellow plastic can that looks heavy and sets it on the counter.

“Alright, I will ring you up and we can go,” Hyunjin says, smiling. He brushes hair behind his ear and scans their items before punching in the value of the petrol on the keypad in front of him. Hyunjin tells them the total and Felix swipes his card to pay for it. “Alright, then let me close the station real quick and I’ll be out there in just a minute.”

“Great,” Felix replies. The two of them grab their stuff and walk outside and idle by one of the petrol pumps. Felix sets down the plastic can by their feet.

“Hyunjin seems nice,” Chan comments.

“Yeah, he’s a pretty sweet dude,” Felix agrees. “Y’know I used to have a bit of a crush on him even though a relationship between the two of us is basically impossible.”

“I don’t blame you,” Chan says. “He is model levels of attractive. Wonder if he’s ever been offered to go model or something like that.” 

“Probably, but that seems like far too personal a question to ask someone I really don’t know that well.”

“You know him well enough to have him drive you back to your car,” Chan points out.

“He would do that for anyone. With me, we’re mostly just familiar with each other. Like how when you see distance relatives who are kinda cool and you’re just like “hello person” to them. You only really spend time with them when you have to, but you also don’t dislike hanging out,” Felix rambles and Chan nods.

“Yeah, I get what you mean by that.” Chan opens his Snickers bar and takes a bite of it. “Extended family stuff is weird because I have relatives over in Korea who I’ve never met. I speak very little of the language and they don’t really speak any English, so I doubt I’ll ever connect with them which is sort of freaky to think about.”

“Oh, that is weird. I see my extended family at Christmas, weddings, and family reunions, but that’s it,” Felix says, shoving a few gummy worms in his mouth. “I have no real desire to get to know them because we’re pretty different people, but it’s fine once and awhile.” 

“You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full,” Chan points out, taking another bite of his Snickers. Felix shoves even more gummy worms in his mouth, his cheeks puffing out a bit and looks at Chan.

“Is this better?” Felix asks, half of a gummy worm sticking out of his mouth. Without thinking, Chan pulls the gummy from Felix’s mouth and pops it into his own. “Dude, you’re gonna get my cooties.”

“I choose not to believe in cooties,” Chan retorts.

“People in America chose not to believe in the Coronavirus, and they are now dying,” Felix counters.

“Those two things are completely different—” Chan doesn’t get to finish his point as Hyunjin comes out of the petrol station and waves them over to his pickup truck. Chan jogs over first, leaving Felix to carry the petrol and scarfing down the rest of his Snickers before climbing into Hyunjin’s truck.

“Yep, just climb on in,” Hyunjin says. “I’ll help Felix put the petrol in the back then we can go.” Chan nods, sticking out his tongue at Felix when he walks by who makes sure Hyunjin isn’t paying attention before doing the same. It’s childish but Chan laughs anyway. 

The petrol is placed in the back then both Hyunjin and Felix get in, but on either side of Chan. Felix is pouting and Chan wants to pinch his cheek and coo at him, though that might actually make the situation worse.

“So, where’s your car?” Hyunjin asks. Felix straightens up and gives Hyunjin directions to where they left his van earlier. Hyunjin gets them there in under fifteen minutes and Felix profusely thanks him when he insists on filling up Felix’s van himself.

Hyunjin waves goodbye and Chan climbs in the van alongside Felix. They both sit down in the backseat side by side. The car is hot, but neither of them makes any movement to turn the air-conditioner on.

“I don’t feel like driving right now,” Felix says.

“I could drive,” Chan suggests.

“Nah, it’s okay,” Felix reassures. “What if we just lay here and take a nap instead?”

“That sounds so much better,” Chan agrees. “But are you going to go and turn the air-conditioner on so we don’t melt to death in here?”

“I don’t wanna move though,” Felix whines. “You can always take your shirt off.” Felix wiggles his brows causing both of them to laugh.

“Or you can give me your keys and I’ll turn the aircon on?” Chan tries.

“Are you gonna leave your shirt on though?” Felix teases. 

“I don’t know which option you would prefer here,” Chan says. Felix digs around in his pocket and pulls out his keys, handing them to Chan. He takes them and gets up, climbing into the driver’s seat. Turning the car on isn’t hard and Chan blasts the air-conditioner even though it isn’t cool yet. Felix whines from the backseat, probably about the hot air.

“For the record, I think you’re probably gorgeous without a shirt on,” Felix comments. Chan can’t help the blush that creeps up his neck and face. He takes a deep breath before climbing into the backseat with Felix.

“I’m quite flattered by that statement, but I disagree,” Chan retorts.

“Anyway, come take a nap with me.” Felix moves back onto the bed and kicks his shoes off. Chan removes his as well and climbs in. They don’t bother getting underneath the blanket. Facing up at the ceiling, Chan closes his eyes, but only a few seconds later, he feels Felix fumbling for his hand and latching onto it. Chan doesn’t say anything and neither does Felix. The two of them fall asleep, hand in hand.

* * *

“Alright, here is the main fun thing to do on this route,” Felix says. “There’s these cool salt caves in Pilliga that I like to visit. It’s fun just to walk around in them and then have a picnic. Plus, we are only seven ish hours from Sydney, so we sleep here and then just drive the rest of the way tomorrow.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Chan agrees. “But right now you are pulling into a parking lot of a shopping center.”

“Well, we want to have a picnic right?” Felix asks and Chan nods. “This is the closest grocery store to the park, so we’ll stop off here and put everything in my cooler.”

“Great plan. Anything I shouldn’t get?” Chan asks.

“Nah, go wild. I don’t have any allergies or anything so it’ll be fine.” The two of them get out of the car and walk in to the grocery store. Chan is greeted by the strongest A/C alive and he couldn’t be more grateful. Cool air always feels good, no matter the outdoor weather. Felix grabs a cart and the two of them start off down the aisles. 

“Do we want to make our own sandwiches or just buy them from the deli then get whatever snacks we want?” Felix leans both elbows on the handle of the cart and hums.

“Making sandwiches ourselves sounds nice in theory, but that also means buying more than one serving of whatever we want on our sandwiches. So unless you will drink all the leftover mustard, then let’s just buy them,” Felix says and Chan laughs.

“I don’t really want to do that, so I think you’re right. But we are in the fruit and vegetable section right now. Any particular fruit you want?” 

“Bananas sound really good right now. Though, my first urge is to say mango, but I think you might be sick of mango by now.” Felix pushes the cart over the banana display and Chan grabs the best looking bunch there is.

“I could never be sick of eating mango,” Chan protests. “I could eat a dozen mangoes right now.”

“Somehow I don’t doubt that,” Felix replies. “Grab like four and then we can pick out some chips.” Chan breaks away from Felix and heads over to the mangoes and grabs four, sticking them in one of the little plastic bags that every grocery store has. Chan goes back and sets the mangoes in the cart.

Felix leads Chan over to the chip aisle and Chan’s stomach growls seemingly on cue. Chan grabs a bag of Doritos and tosses them in without any protest from Felix.

“I didn’t peg you as a Doritos kind of guy,” Felix admits. “You seem much more like a Bungles guy.”

“Wait, those also sound really good too,” Chan says. Felix grabs a bag and tosses them in the cart.

“Problem solved,” Felix replies. “Anything else?”

“Red Bull?” Felix rolls his eyes but they start off towards the energy drinks.

“Red Bull is liquid meth,” Felix says and Chan gasps.

“A few days ago you weren’t complaining,” Chan points out.

“That’s a fair point, but that was before I found out that you’re anti-vore and now my opinions must be said,” Felix defends. They reach the energy drinks and Chan grabs a four pack before Felix can say anything. He’s going to help pay for this, even if Felix doesn’t want him to. It’s only fair.

“What if I get you to try Red Bull on our picnic if I admit vore isn’t that bad?” Chan tries. Bribery is the only option here.

“You just admitted it, so that’s good enough for me.” Felix smiles and pushes the cart down the aisle to get in line at the deli. Chan pouts, trailing behind Felix. “Chan, quit pouting.”

“Never.” Chan pouts harder just to be annoying and Felix sighs.

“Quit being cute,” Felix whines. Chan doesn’t even have time to register that comment as it’s their turn to order. He’s caught completely off guard and takes a moment to look at the menu hanging above while Felix rattles off his standard sandwich order. Chan makes up his mind and orders too before turning back to his conversation with Felix.

“You can’t call me cute.” 

“Why not?” Felix challenges. “If it’s because you aren’t cute, then I am protesting that rule, but if it makes you uncomfortable I’ll stop.”

“It’s the first one,” Chan admits shyly. Is this flirting? Or is Felix just being nice? Though isn’t that more the issue with girls when they flirt with each other? But there isn’t a rule that guys can be overly nice, it’s just less common. Chan is definitely overthinking this at the very least.

“Then I will keep calling you cute,” Felix decides. Chan doesn’t have some witty reply, so he lets it slide. Felix uses Chan’s distracted state to pay for their sandwiches.

“I’m paying for the rest of this,” Chan protests.

“You already said that,” Felix replies, pushing the cart towards the front of the store with the self check out stations.

“That is not acknowledgment at all,” Chan points out and Felix only nods. Sticking a hand in his pants, Chan feels around for his wallet. He can estimate how much everything will cost and beat Felix to the punch which is his only hope here. 

They reach the self check out and scan their items without issue and Chan pulls out cash and is ready to slide it into the machine, but somehow Felix has already swiped his card. Everything goes in one bag and Felix puts the cart back.

“You’re so sneaky, you know that,” Chan says.

“Yes, I’m quite the sneaky one,” Felix agrees. He clicks the locks on his car and the two of them climb in the front seats. “We have an hour to get into the park all the way so just stick the bag on the floor and chill out.”

“Okay,” Chan replies. Felix flicks on the radio and Chan skims through stations until he reaches something him and Felix both like. The ride goes quick enough and before long, Felix is parking in Pilliga National Park.

“Are you ready to have a pretend picnic?” Felix asks, giving Chan a pair of finger guns.

“Absolutely. I’m starved.” 

“But first— sunscreen.” Can’t forget the sunscreen. Felix had tossed an extra bottle in the bag when Chan wasn’t looking and already has it in hand when the two of them get out of the van. “Okay where do you need it the most?”

“Back of my neck,” Chan replies. He flips up his sleeves and holds his hands out for some sunscreen that he can rub on his arms. Felix squirts a large blob into his hands which is more than enough, but more is always better when it comes to sunscreen.

Chan rubs the cream down his arms and Felix rubs the back of his neck which causes Chan to wince. Sunscreen is cold, especially on more sensitive skin. Chan’s calves don’t really get burnt, but they probably need sunscreen too.

“Can I get a bit more?” Chan asks, holding out his hand again. Felix gives him more and he covers the rest of himself in it.

“Did you get your nose?” Yeah, Chan forgot his actual face. Getting sun burnt on his nose is probably the worst place to get sun burnt at all. Though the one time he got his back was also pretty bad.

“Nope, I’ll do it now though.”

“I have extra on my hands, so I’ll just do it,” Felix says and Chan nods. The cream is rubbed onto Chan’s face in record time, Felix’s hands being quite soft and good at spreading sunscreen as it turns out.

“Ready then?” Chan asks and Felix nods. “I’ll grab the ‘picnic basket’ then.” Chan puts air quotes around ‘picnic basket’ because what they really have is a plastic grocery bag, but that’s good enough. Chan grabs the bag and the two of them walk over to the mostly empty picnic tables. 

They take a long one for themselves with one of them on either side. Chan passes out things and opens the chip bags for a free for all on them. Felix takes one bite of his sandwich and looks on the verge of tears.

“This is the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten in my life,” Felix says, practically inhaling the rest all in one go. Chan takes a bite of his as well. It’s really good. Like mind blowingly good.

“Holy shit, this is delicious,” Chan agrees. “That sandwich chef has a bright future ahead of him.”

“That he does.” For a moment, it’s quiet while they eat. Chan finishing off his sandwich then munching on Bugles while Felix eats a banana. “So you want to hike up to the salt caves after we eat?”

“Yeah, that certainly seems like fun.” Chan grabs one of the mangoes and bites into it to open it up. “I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

“I’ve been here a few times, but generally just to stop and picnic by myself,” Felix replies. “It’s a pretty cool place and I’m excited to go hiking with you.” 

The two of them wrap up lunch and hike up to the salt caves together. They walk into one of the caves and spot an opening that looks out over the park. Felix and Chan crouch down to see out of the opening in the cave better and their shoulders brush. Chan gasps at how beautiful the view is. The country side is truly something that's another level of beauty. After a moment they both sit back on their heels and look at each other. 

Chan stares into Felix’s eyes for a moment and he stares back. For a brief bit in time, there is only them— gazing at each other. Chan would swear that Felix begins to lean in and they come close to possibly kissing, but then someone walks into the caves and they jolt apart from one another.

“Did you see the sign when we walked in?” Felix asks and Chan shakes his head. “Let me show you because it’s funny.” Felix drags Chan by the hand to the edge of the cave so they are as far away from the tourists who joined them a few moments earlier.

Felix presents the sign like he’s just won a huge prize and smiles. Chan reads over the sign and he can’t help his urge to laugh.

“Don’t lick the caves,” Chan reads. “Why would you even need some kind of sign like that?”

“Because in case of this,” Felix says dramatically before he licks the fucking cave wall. Chan gasps and Felix pulls away almost instantly. “That’s so salty!” The tourists turn in their direction and Chan really doesn’t think being caught licking the salt caves right next to the sign that specifically says not to is a good idea so he drags Felix back out the way they came.

“That is quite possibly the worst decision you could have made in that moment,” Chan points out.

“Absolutely agree.” Felix has his tongue hanging out of his mouth like doing that will make the salty flavor go away. “I don’t want to suffer alone so you should French kiss me.” Chan splutters like a fish out of water.

“There are so many reasons I’m going to decline that offer,” Chan mumbles. Felix waggles his tongue at Chan and he cringes, but it’s somehow also a tiny bit endearing which is the more embarrassing part of this. “Let’s just get back to your van and keep driving.”

* * *

Chan and Felix are finally home. They just reached Sydney and Felix is driving Chan back to his dorm, so he can get himself squared away for going back to school. As it turns out, Felix lives on campus too, so it’s really not too far out of the way for him.

But something big is nagging at Chan. He really likes Felix. Like the past ten weeks or so have been filled with more pining than Chan has ever experianced in his life. And he just has no clue if Felix feels the same way. There was that moment in the salt caves where Felix had held Chan’s hand and they had stared at each other and Chan swears on his life that he thought they were going to kiss, but someone came in and ruined the moment. But there were also a lot of other, smaller moments that really stuck out to him.

“What are you thinking about, Chan?” Felix asks.

“Oh, uhh.” Chan hurries to think of some sort of excuse. “Just how glad I am to be home.”

“I’m glad to be home too,” Felix agrees. “It was really fun going on this trip with you. I think it at the very least, beats taking a plane ride home.”

“I agree.” Chan pauses for a moment. “This trip will probably become one of my most cherished memories if I’m honest.”

“Really?” Felix sounds shocked and Chan looks at him. His eyes are on the road, but there’s a tiny bit of pink on the tips of his ears.

“Yeah. Really.” 

“Anyway, are we should be almost to your dorm right?” Felix asks, effectively switching the subject in a completely different direction, even if Chan leaving was the original direction of the conversation.

“Turn right here and then you can just pull up in front,” Chan directs. He wishes he had a few more hours with Felix, so maybe he could work up the nerve to at least confess his feelings, but as of this second, he can’t. Felix parks in front of Chan’s dorms and neither of them move for a moment.

“I don’t think I’m ready for you to leave,” Felix whispers and Chan bites his lip.

“I don’t think I am either,” Chan admits, slouching against the chair.

“So what do we do now?” Felix asks. “Because we can’t stay in this car forever.”

“Why don’t you want me to leave?” Chan counters.

“I…” Felix trails off and looks at his feet. “I just really like you, Chan. Like more than a friend and it doesn’t matter if you don’t feel the same because I just think you’re a pretty cool guy y’know. But I also really want to kiss you and again— I’m sorry if that’s weird, I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“I really like you too. In the romantic way f-y-i,” Chan replies.

“You do?” Felix sits up and turns his body to look at Chan properly who mimics him. “Like for real?”

“Yes, for real,” Chan says. “I’ve been head over heels since the first time you took me to Woojin’s restaurant.”

“That was over two months ago, oh my god,” Felix rambles. “We could have dealt with this so much sooner because I only started talking to you because I thought you were cute.”

“I still can’t believe that’s the pet name you pick for me,” Chan mumbles. “But wow, we really could have straightened this out a while ago.”

“But you’re so cute,” Felix whines. He leans over and grabs Chan’s cheeks. “See, you’re strong, but also pretty squish. Like a jacked bunny.” Chan snorts and Felix lets go of his cheek, moving to softly cup it instead.

“That’s an interesting way to describe me, I suppose,” Chan replies, eyes fixated on Felix’s mouth. “Felix, can I kiss you?”

“Yeah, kiss me.” They shift themselves slightly to slot together better, but Felix’s foot hits the horn and they jump apart.

“Felix, what are you doing?” Chan asks, shooting upright.

“Well, I was trying to kiss you, but somehow I managed to kick the horn.” Felix bites his lip, deep in thought for a moment. “But you know what we could do, right?”

“I have no idea where you’re going with this,” Chan confesses.

“Wait— how?”

“I don’t know. I’m clearly not good at picking up your signals.”

“You raise a good point,” Felix says. “But what I meant is that we have a comfortable bed in the back of this very van so if you would like to actually try to kiss, that might be our best place to go.” Chan is climbing over the seats within three seconds flat and Felix isn’t far behind him. They both ditch their shoes before jumping onto the bed.

“Felix, come sit in my lap,” Chan says. “That is if you want to of course.”

“Yes, I very much want to.” Chan lays down flat on the mattress and lets Felix find a comfortable position on his lap. Hesitantly, Chan puts his hands on Felix’s waist.

“Is this okay?” Chan is a bit hesitant in how he holds Felix, wanting him to be as comfortable as possible.

“More than okay. Can I kiss you now?” Felix asks.

“Yes, please.” Felix cups Chan’s jaw and leans over, letting their noses brush together for a moment before connecting their lips. For a moment, everything is frozen, it’s just the two of them together in Felix’s van. Then Felix is kissing Chan like there is no tomorrow. Their teeth bump more than once and Felix breaks away frequently to nip and kiss at Chan’s jaw. 

Though the two of them would like to kiss forever, time doesn’t allow for that, so they break apart and lay there for a moment, breathing heavily and gazing into each others eyes. Chan brushes Felix’s hair out of his eyes and Felix presses one more kiss to Chan’s cheek.

“You have to go up to your dorm, don’t you?” Felix asks.

“I do, but we exchanged numbers awhile ago and attend school on the same campus, so it’s okay,” Chan reassures. “I promise I’ll call and text you a bunch and we can meet up for coffee or study together or a million other things. And we can probably do this again next summer as well.” Felix breaks out into a huge smile.

“Yeah, you’re right. We have such little distance between us and we already get along great, so we are set up for success!”

Chan gets his things and says goodbye to Felix formally. They give each other a huge hug outside Chan’s dorm and Chan waits until Felix is completely out of eye sight before going upstairs. He flops down on his bed, finally allowing the butterflies to overtake him. Hopefully, this will be the beginning of something really special.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/occultclysms)   
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